All things being equal…
Today is Equal Pay Day. The day in the year when women’s wages finally catch up to men’s wages from the previous year. That’s right, the typical American woman has to work four and a half months longer to make the same salary as her male counterparts. It doesn’t matter if she has the same education, the same level of experience, the same capabilities, the same career path, the same professional achievements; the typical American woman is likely to make 23 percent less than a man.
According to the National Women’s Law Center:
Today, women are paid just 77 cents for every dollar a man is paid – that’s an average of over $10,000 in lost wages every year. For the typical woman and her family, ending the wage gap would buy four months of groceries, five months of child care, and three months of rent, with almost $3000 left over.
That’s a significant earnings gap that, if eliminated, has the potential to make a significant impact on the financial health of countless American women and their families.
Today more than ever, families are relying women for financial support. Whether willingly or out of necessity, more and more women (myself included) are stepping into the role of sole or primary breadwinner. So I can’t help but wonder, how our own financial situation would be different if all things were equal. Or if our roles were reversed and Glenn had been the one to earn the degree and start his career all those years ago.
Would our financial house be built on more solid ground? Would I spend less time worrying about the cost of healthcare; weighing the risk vs. reward on every single doctor visit? Would we have put that roof on and fixed that health hazard of a bathroom years ago? Would we even still be in this house? Maybe we would be living in the ‘burbs like we had always planned. Would I have been able to stay home with Tucker after he was born instead heading back to work and spending my breaks pumping breast milk in the handicap bathroom stall?
It’s easy to look back and wonder what might have been. But it’s impossible to look to the future and predict how life will play out. When I was in college I was beyond driven. I took pride in how much harder I worked then many of my peers. Forgoing a minor to take a double major. Taking extra classes each term so I’d be sure to graduate in four years. Studying percussion and performing with multiple ensembles on top of regular classes just because I loved it and refused to give it up. Holding down one, two and sometimes even three part time jobs to pay my bills. My hard work paid off. I graduated, with honors, in four years.
Here’s a pic of me at graduation. So optimistic. So driven. Ready to set the world on fire. I was going to have it all. An amazing career, a husband, 2.5 kids, a dog and a house in the suburbs.
Full of youthful optimism and feminist pride, it never occurred to me back then that I couldn’t have it all. Or that once I held my baby in my arms, maybe I wouldn’t want to. That suddenly my identity was more than my job title. I can say with some certainty that if it had been an option for me, I would have opted out of the workforce right then and there and become a stay-at-home-mom.
But that was not an option for us. Glenn was the one with the flexible schedule and I was the one with the career and the higher salary. Only suddenly, with a mortgage payment and a new baby, my salary and lack of health benefits seemed frighteningly inadequate. So I fought for what I thought I deserved. It wasn’t easy. As modern women we know we can do any job a man can do as well, if not better. But for some reason we are programmed to take what we’re given gratefully and without question. And for years, no matter how hard I worked or whether I believed I deserved more, I kept my mouth shut and was just grateful to have the job at all.
Today I believe (although I have no way of knowing for sure) that I’m making a fair wage that is comparable to what my male counterparts make. However, I believe it took me more time to get there and I certainly had to work harder to prove myself and still had to fight for it. And I don’t think that my experience is unusual.
I guess my point is that we never know where our lives will take us until suddenly we’re here. Maybe you work because you love your job. Perhaps your family is relying on your income because your husband lost his job. Or you might be a single mom. Whatever the reason, if you’ve got the same qualifications and do the same quality of work, you shouldn’t have to fight harder for equal pay simply by virtue of the fact that you’re a woman. The work we do isn’t worth any less than the work done by our male colleagues.
President Kennedy signed the Equal Pay Act into law nearly 50 years ago. Why are we still fighting this battle? Equal pay should not even be a question today – especially when women make up nearly half of the U.S. workforce. But the truth is, no one is going to fight this battle for us. Nothing will change unless we stand up for ourselves and make our voices heard.
Autumn Soup
It’s that time of year in Minnesota. The air has turned crisp, the sky is more often gray than blue and we’re all busily trying to rake the leaves before the first snowfall. On days such as this there’s nothing better than a comforting bowl of warm soup with a side of delicious bread.
It just so happens I have rediscovered the perfect soup recipe for just such an occasion in my very own copy of the Ebne Millenium Cookbook. This particular recipe was submitted to the cookbook by my mother, Jeanne Rude, and is originally a Weight Watchers recipe from many moons ago.
Weight Watchers Autumn Soup
This soup is delicious when served with a great bread, such as Archer Farms Herb Rolls from Target.
Ingredients:
- 6 oz. ground beef
- 4 oz. chopped onion
- 2 oz. chopped carrots
- 2 beef bouillon cubes
- 2 cups water
- 1/8 tsp. basil
- 2 oz. cubed potato
- 2 cups stewed tomatoes
- 1/2 bay leaf
- salt & pepper to taste
The Little Garden That Could
Ever since we bought our house I’ve wanted a vegetable garden. We’ve always grown tomatoes and sometimes even green peppers in pots or our EarthBox but we’ve never had a true vegetable garden. Most of the yard is much too shady. And the other parts of the yard that might be ideal are either covered in concrete or overgrown with unruly trees.
Tucker was eager to help build the veggie garden. Billy supervises (actually, it looks like he might be peeing in this pic.)
This summer I decided that rather than waiting for the stars to align and all our yard improvement projects to fall into place, we’d work with what we have. And, as it happens, what we have worked out pretty well.
We had some extra building materials from when Papa built Tucker a sandbox and we had tons of old seeds that Auntie Mary had given us years ago that we’d never been able to use. So we got to work tearing up sod, digging, leveling and building our little garden.
The little garden mid-July.
The location was perfect. Tucker selected carrot seeds, green bean seeds and I chose a variety packet of lettuce seeds. We also planted some cucumber seeds for Daddy. We cheated a bit and added some small plants (sugar snap peas, a green bell pepper and a jalapeno) from the garden center and a few lettuce and spinach plants donated by my friend, Robin. In pots we did herbs (rosemary, basil and oregano) some strawberries, and our usual selection of Roma and yellow pear tomatoes in the EarthBox.
Bountiful harvest.
All in all we ended up with a pretty impressive harvest. The green beans were abundant. The sugar snap peas were delicious but not bountiful at all. (I think we had six total.) The green bell pepper was also pretty disappointing. But the carrots were the sweetest, most delicious carrots we’ve ever tasted.
Our fresh, homemade salsa.
The jalapeno plant was very productive and is still producing peppers in October. The Roma tomatoes were mostly overcome with blossom rot, but we’ve still had a few good ones and there are a few more on the vine. The yellow pear tomatoes just keep coming and coming and will probably produce until the first freeze. So we’ve been using them and the jalapenos to make delicious fresh salsa.
Best. Carrots. Ever.
The best part of our little garden was that we all got involved. We all did the prep work, built, planted, weeded, watered, harvested and enjoyed the fruits (or veggies) of our labor together. We will definitely be planting another vegetable garden next year. The effort we put in was more than worth the rewards.
Grandma Millie’s Pic-A-Roll
Nanny Millie's pick-a-roll recipe.
Ingredients:
2 loaves frozen bread dough (I use Rhodes™ frozen dinner rolls)
sugar and cinnamon mixture (about 3/4 cup of sugar mixed with 2 tsp. of cinnamon)1/2 package butterscotch pudding mix
Directions:
Place dough in the oven at 200° with a pan of water
Thaw just until the dough starts to rise
Cut the thawed loaf in half the long way, then cut in 6 pieces, then 12
Dip each roll in melted butter and arrange in buttered bread or angel food pan
Sprinkle first with sugar and cinnamon mixture, then butterscotch
Let raise and bake at 350 degrees for about 20 to 25 minutes
Reality Check
After a relatively stressful morning of back to back meetings, followed by rushing to my afternoon dentist appointment, this evening turned out to be exactly what I needed. There’s nothing quite like spending a little quality time with Tucker to make me see things a little more clearly.
Despite the fact that things at work are hectic, the house is in chaos and Glenn texted to say that he was going to have to work late, Tucker and I had a great night together. We got home, had a snack and relaxed while watching Voltron. Then he did his homework (even reading the directions all by himself) while I prepared dinner. After finishing his worksheets he happily helped me out around the kitchen. Then we enjoyed a lovely dinner and chatted about our days.
While we were chatting he says this, “I like this house. It has lots of decorations. So much fun stuff. I have a good life.”
And you know, he is so right. Sure, our to do lists seem to grow longer and longer the harder we try to catch up. At times, it feels like for every step forward we take about 3 steps backward. But in the end, we have a pretty good little life here. We love each other and love spending time together. We have a comfortable home that (though a never ending work in progress) is just right for our little family. Life is good.
Love This
Mother and Child by Klimpt
They have a canvas print of this at IKEA right now, and have for a while. I just love it. I can’t stop looking at it whenever we walk by. It speaks to me. (Not literally. I’m not that crazy. Yet.)
What a Ham!
Tucker received his first lesson in Morse code this afternoon when we were waiting for Nanny to get ready for our shopping date. We were hanging out in Papa’s office and chatting when Tucker asked him what the telegraph key that was hanging on his wall above his desk was. Papa took it down off the wall and explained what it was and how it was used.
I should explain that my dad (Papa) has been an amateur radio (ham) operator since long before I was born and so was his father (my Papa Ty) before him. Growing up I remember Dad spending hours and hours at his amateur radio station in the basement of our house talking to or using morse code with people all over the world. It was his thing before computers became his thing.
Tucker was VERY interested so Papa went on to turn on the telegraph key that he actually uses and show him how it works and what it sounds like. He demonstrated the Morse code for Tucker’s name, Papa, Mom and such. Tucker LOVED it, he was absolutely eating it up.
Papa teaching Tucker Morse code.
So Papa pulled out a box filled with a bunch of different telegraph keys, needless to say, Tucker was impressed. He took one look at all the gadgets, looked at Papa and said very matter-of-factly, “Papa, I’m interested in buying those from you.”
Seriously. That is exactly what he said. Papa, Nanny and I were rolling! Nanny said that somewhere up in heaven Papa Ty was smiling very big this afternoon. She’s probably right. I know I was. And I’m tearing up just thinking about it now. What a great unexpected moment!
Will Tucker be the next ham in the family?
If you look closely, you can see three generations of Rude males in this picture. The illustration on the wall is a self portrait of my grandpa, Tyler Rude.
10.10.10
I had to write a post today, if for no other reason than I wanted to use the date: 10/10/10. I love it.
Also, I’m trying to battle through some writer’s block right now. This has been happening all too often lately. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m tired of what I’m writing about, tired of writing altogether or just plain tired. Whatever the reason, it’s making my efforts tonight that much harder.
We’ve spent the better part of the last 4 days taking care of a very sick little boy. Tucker was sent home from school with a fever for the first time ever. His fever has been bouncing back and forth between 99.5 and 103.8 at the highest. And he’s been puking, so it’s likely he picked up some sort of a stomach bug.
I rushed out of the office very suddenly on Thursday to pick him up and get him to the doctor. His strep test came back negative. We were also concerned he may have had a bladder infection the week before so we had that tested too, just for good measure. Also negative.
The puking started overnight, or rather really early Friday morning, so Glenn was up with him and stayed with him for the first part of the morning. I came home around 11 a.m. and stayed with him the rest of the day. He seemed to rally Friday night but woke up with a very high (103.4) fever overnight and woke up puking again Saturday morning.
He’s been fever free all day today, thankfully. But, after missing so much work last week I’m now looking at a late night of trying to catch up. It seems my sudden absences at work last week were not very well received so I’m hoping to smooth things over by being totally caught up before I even walk into the office tomorrow morning. That’s the best I can do. I may need to work to bring home a paycheck, but (at least for this mom) a sick kid trumps work any day – even if I pay for it later. If he needs me, I’ll be there. End of story.
Now, to try to write what I need to write to be back in good graces tomorrow morning.
Friday Focus
I think I need a real vacation. I’m having trouble finding my focus this Friday evening. Glenn is out at an event for work so it’s just Tucker and myself. We’re enjoying a very low-key evening – chilling out and watching Star Wars Episode III. Tucker us being awesome, quietly watching the movie and playing LEGOS. And I really need to be working on a freelance project, but I can’t find the focus to write. This is not a new problem and I’m beyond frustrated. I have so much to do! I can’t afford to have writer’s block right now. Ugh!
So busy…
We’ve been so unbelievably busy since the start of the school year (and the start of this blog) that I haven’t had a moment to post anything. So until I get around to a real post, here’s an update about what we’ve been up to:
- Tucker thinks kindergarten is awesome
- He ate hot lunch at school for the first time and carried his own tray without spilling ANYTHING
- We’ve attended Back to School Night and our first PT&FA meeting
- He’s now been accepted into two of the three public schools we applied to but were on waiting lists (too little, too late)
- He’s doing really great adjusting to the new schedule and getting his homework done
- My freelance work is ramping up again
- We’ve gone to MagiQuest at the Mall of America
- We’ve gone to the MN Renaissance Festival
- We’ve gone to Como Zoo
- He had a sleepover at our house with Cole and Xander two nights in a row
- Glenn and I celebrated our 7th wedding anniversary in the traditional way: at Red Lobster (with Tucker, Kim, Lucas, Cole and Xander)
- Today is Glenn’s 34th birthday
I’m about to take my hubby out for a birthday lunch so it’s time to wrap up this brief update. More later…
